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INSIDE BOCCE Scumming Has Returned
to Southside
The vile art of scumming opposition has returned in full swing at Southside Pitch. As expected, the list of disgruntled and mentally torn bocce players grows with each test. The powers that be, in this case-Shack #6, continue to turn a blind eye to ugly tactics that now seem to mar every test match at the Southside Pitch. Current Carnivore Cup favorite Buck Mandingo has found himself defending his character on several occasions this season. Mandingo dodged a suspension in early April after firing the pollino at the oddly shaped head of Ivan Sfencter. While Sfencters’ play in April earned him InsideBocce Player of the Month honors, his mental state on and off the pitch has deteriorated. Many attribute Mandingo’s wild and heartless ways to an incident with Dominguez ElDiablo and David Mogen in which Mandingo was stripped of his trademark terry cloth trousers. Mandingo responded with a series of ball and pollino hurling incidents as well as shattering several of Tomas Singin-Smythes ribs. As a result, Smythe has complained that the mere sight of a pork rib brings on painful memories. The absence of pork products from any diet will affect play, not to mention a man’s mental state. Mandingo is not the only offender though, simply the worst. David Mogen has been warned by Shack #6 officials for targeting the injured ankle of Buck Mandingo. Mogen charges that it is in response to Mandingo’s lack of etiquette while the opposition takes it’s throws. A juggling wine chalice has been Mandingo’s weapon for several seasons. Mandingo responded to the charges, “I think, for the most part, that is sour grapes.” No pun was intended. The hope here is that Mandingo's continued bush league
play will be addressed before the league suffers further loss of integrity.
A uniform method for measurements would be an ideal start. Mandingo is
often at the vortex of close and controversial measurement disputes.
- Vic Cleft/Inside Bocce
INSIDE BOCCE RANKINGS { as of may 5, 1998 } 1. Buck Mandingo*
(13-11)
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