This season’s first series of test matches took place at the Southside Pitch between Ivan Sfencter and Nathan Sweatmoore vs. Jean-Luc Perreault and Buck Mandingo with the latter team sweeping all three tests matches 3-0 in dramatic fashion. The 1st Test would see the team of Sfencter and Sweatmoore relinquish a commanding early lead after a heated dispute with off-pitch officials that they were destined to lose. They did. The loss of the argument would prove to be a prelude to their completely losing their composure. The two would not regain the confidence that brought them the lead initially. The 2nd and 3rd Tests were conceded amid similar circumstances, with bitter whining and bickering marring an otherwise fine evening of bocce. Sweatmoore’s outbursts were particularly uncharacteristic of the Ivy League graduate, disgusting those in attendance who’ve come to know him as a level headed professional. If this is how he deals with his frustration in the pre-season, one shudders to think what madness awaits him after he costs his team another test match. In Sweatmoore’s defense, Sfencter was nowhere near pre-season form, his balls consistently finding areas of the pitch previously uncharted, even in one’s imagination. Needless to say, Perreault and Mandingo were scintillating, their brilliant psychological warfare paying huge dividends as the evening progressed. The pin-point accuracy of their shots was the icing on the cake as they reduced the normally top-notch team of Sfencter and Sweatmoore to a pair of rank amateurs. Merciless in victory, Perreault would typically offer subtle taunts to his outclassed opponents until the 3rd Test Coup de Grace finally brought an end to their suffering. --- Pierre
Intermezzo
WHAT HAS BECOME OF SPORTSMANSHIP? Each American male has grown up with the hope that he shall be treated with some degree of even-handedness. However, the opening rounds of this seasons Bocce championships have left us with reason to doubt. The competitors seem to be more determined to submarine the opponent than playing the pitch. Tactics are true in mind. Victories, likewise, are true. Give credit to early success. Credit is due. But the season is long. This chapter, this story...is not yet complete! Each aficionado of the sport will agree that the best ball wins the round. But a round is short, the season is long and the pre-season is meaningless. Don’t underestimate the Sfencter/Sweatmoore team. They will be there at the end. I can assure all fans that there remain no more warm feelings between these fierce competitors. High emotions shall expose weak constitutions. Let it be so. Greater talent and greater ability shall expose, in the end, weakness in the former. Team member Nathan Sweatmoore was quoted as saying: “I played fine.” Once again, and it is a quote: “I played fine.” One can only assume the implications reserved within that remark. One can only assume where this leaves the Sfencter/Sweatmoore team. Let me speak of the pitch. It is a travesty! One would think that in a professional environment one might be treated to a more proper playing surface. Not so. The degenerate who sweeps this cow pasture should be publicly flogged. Let him bleed! -- Magnus Jules-Jagoff
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