EXHIBITION TESTS FIND SMYTHE AND
LOWER RIVER BOCCE CLUB This spectacular pitch was the sight
of the first bocce of 1998, veterans Tomas Sinjin-Smythe and Buck Mandingo
setting a standard of bocce that could not be equaled by the rookies in
attendance. Fabio DeSalvo came closest, but was clearly looking for
ways to vent his mounting frustration. Several scuffles between him
and controversial Carnivores Cup selection Sinjin- Smythe set the tone
for a chaotic evening of bocce.
What was supposed to be a pre-season
warm up for players rusty from inactivity, quickly turned deadly serious
when DeSalvo drew the ire of the elder Mandingo, the two locking horns
with mid-season fire. DeSalvo is, of course, kin to the famed Romeo
DeSalvo, who has left his stain on the Southside Pitch several times previous.
He was paired with Huckleberry and Syl Flint early, and with the uncharacteristically
docile Dominquez El Diablo as the night dragged on. It was a test
of endurance that seemed to favor the youngsters.
RIVERSIDE BOCCE GROUNDS
3-Way competition between Tomas
Sinjin-Smythe, Fabio DeSalvo and Buck Mandingo for a single
test match was yet another indication that things are picking up where
the left off last season, Smythe a close but convincing victor. Sinjin
certainly heard his share of criticism from those who felt he was an undeserving
and unworthy recipient of the coveted Carnivores Cup. A repeat would
go a long way to put those nagging questions to rest, but it will not be
easy. There are many standing in line hoping to prove their point.
SOUTHSIDE PITCH
The hallowed grounds of the Southside
Pitch opened for the first exhibition test matches to take place there
since Romeo DeSalvo and James Blood went toe-to-toe last December.
Head groundskeeper Carl Spackler has done an admirable job of preserving
an otherwise battered terrain. His travels to California and the
bluegrass of Kentucky have created a hybrid of genius which often enhances
the atmosphere at Southside.
The first 3-Way test between Tomas
Sinjin-Smythe, Buck Mandingo and Ivan Sfencter was first rate bocce under
the lights. Smythe narrowly escaped relinquishing a large early lead
to hold off his rallying opponents, and looks as though he is determined
to have history repeat itself.
Sinjin-Smythe and Fabio DeSalvo
would pair up against Mandingo and a reluctant Ivan Sfencter, who fails
to function properly without 18 hours of sleep per day. His not getting
it was obvious as stamina became an issue, himself and Mandingo showing
signs of age; conditioning is a must if these two hope to make a
serious run at the Carnivores Cup. Smythe and DeSalvo squeaked
out a close game, but appeared comfortable and relaxed throughout, DeSalvo
quick to challenge the
veterans as he deemed necessary. It was the Southside Pitch as we
have come to know it: egomaniacal jousting, psychological taunting,
and magnificent bocce.
CENTRAL PARK FAT DAGO BOCCE CLUB
This highly respected league of
guineas has attracted the likes of Romeo DeSalvo, Haywood J’Bleauxmie,
Paul Fury and “The Batman”, Ajay Bhatt. All have distinguished themselves
at Southside and are scheduled to return to test themselves against the
best that bocce has to offer. DeSalvo, at last, finds himself on the right side of
the law, his past exploits befitting of a Southside scoundrel.
STARS and BARS CONFEDERATE BOCCE CLUB The legendary James Blood and infamous
Southside bad-boy K-Rud have surfaced in Georgia, performing their booce
for the honky’s amusement. While it may be true that bocce south
of the Mason-Dixon line is nowhere near as advanced as it is in the more
Italianized north, there seems to have taken root in the many backwards-ass
backwoods mountains of Georgia a growing desire to play marbles with
grapefruit-sized ceramic balls. Exactly why this has happened is
anyone’s guess, but unconfirmed rumors that K-Rud was recently abducted
by inbred mountainmen following a particularly contentious test match is
proof that southern bocce, like that of Southside is not for the faint
of heart.
MARION BARRY BOCCE COALITION Nathan Sweatmore’s deportation to Little Niger leaves many bocce aficionado's wondering what has become of his game, a veteran of many test matches and a one-time top contender for the prestigious Carnivores Cup. The Marion Barry Bocce Coalition has disbanded amid accusations that it had strong ties to the Superbabies Breeding Farm of Cambria, N.Y. Reports that the two were working to produce “tremendous bocce bucks” whose endurance and girth would surpass the behemoths of Southside, led to congressional hearings that intrigued some and repulsed many. Sweatmore’s game will likely be rusty upon return, but certainly nothing a little grease won't fix. |