St. Ides









The Patron Saint of Ides

I felt obliged to write my first beverage section about the preeminent malt liquor. Of course that would be St. Ides, a.k.a. Crooked I. I guess it's clear that I am not even remotely straight edge. Fortunately, it seems many of the hardcore kids today are straight edge.

I am not sure when St. Ides became my beverage of choice, but I remember as far back as 1993 I would show up at parties with two 40's in hand. Last time my parents ventured into the concrete jungle I recycled 16 empties of St. Ides double deuces.

What makes St. Ides so tasty is that for $1.59 I can get a 40 of malt liquor that is full flavored and probably about 8% alcohol! The double deuces go for a buck a piece in upper Manhattan, where I live. The St. Ides marketing guys in the Motor City figured that they could sell even more of this malted nectar with a devious pricing scheme that put two 40's at $3.

What makes St. Ides so nasty is that for $3 I will have no memories of the night before. Just for the record I currently weigh in at a buck thirty-eight, which is up six pounds in the past month when I started weighing myself every day. Since October I have been working in Florida and getting in plenty of beverages, no exercise, and I have become a club member at the "Beverages and More" establishment. I have even contemplated starting my own business venture called "Beer Island." Yes, that is an island that would serve all your beverage needs while you mosh it up on an island. Any venture capital funding would be appreciated.

With recent advancements in 40 oz. glass bottle design, St. Ides 40's now features the St. Wides mouth to ensure that the Patron St. of Ides is consumed without hesitation or delay. This may be the single biggest advancement in beverage technology in the last decade. It is a pity the first beverage maker I saw using/marketing this break through technology was Coors. Unfortunately Coors products sux! and I have a strong feeling that Adolf Coors does not wear the SkinHeads Against Racial Prejudice (SHARP) emblem on his sleeve.

A shout out to e.Bowla for procuring a case of St. Ides 40's. An event every one who enjoys malted beverages should do at least once in their lifetime.

St. Ides Label

For beverage value per dollar I think St. Ides is the golden winner. In a battle for beverage quality per dollar St. Ides has some strong competition. More on beverages to come in future issues. You can probably look forward to reviews of the following fine beverages: Guinness, Chivas, Prior's Double Dark, Mickey's, green tea, and other liquid treats.


Ides - n., The 15th day of March, May, July, or October or the 13th of the other months in the ancient Roman Calendar

Sudden Death Publications (c) 2003