The Patron Saint of Ides
I felt obliged to write my first beverage section about the preeminent malt liquor. Of course that would be St. Ides, a.k.a. Crooked I. I guess it's clear that I am not even remotely straight edge. Fortunately, it seems many of the hardcore kids today are straight edge.
I am not sure when St. Ides became my beverage of choice, but I remember as far back as 1993 I would show up at parties with two 40's in hand. Last time my parents ventured into the concrete jungle I recycled 16 empties of St. Ides double deuces.
What makes St. Ides so tasty is that for $1.59 I can get a 40 of malt liquor that is full flavored and probably about 8% alcohol! The double deuces go for a buck a piece in upper Manhattan, where I live. The St. Ides marketing guys in the Motor City figured that they could sell even more of this malted nectar with a devious pricing scheme that put two 40's at $3.
What makes St. Ides so nasty
is that for $3 I will have no memories of the night before. Just for the
record I currently weigh in at a buck thirty-eight, which is up six pounds
in the past month when I started weighing myself every day. Since October
I have been working in Florida and getting in plenty of beverages, no
exercise, and I have become a club member at the "Beverages and More"
establishment. I have even contemplated starting my own business venture
called "Beer Island." Yes, that is an island that would serve all your
beverage needs while you mosh it up on an island. Any venture capital
funding would be appreciated.
For beverage value per dollar
I think St. Ides is the golden winner. In a battle for beverage quality
per dollar St. Ides has some strong competition. More on beverages to
come in future issues. You can probably look forward to reviews of the
following fine beverages: Guinness, Chivas, Prior's Double Dark, Mickey's,
green tea, and other liquid treats.
Ides - n., The 15th day of March, May, July, or October or the 13th of the other months in the ancient Roman Calendar
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